Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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