He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
