I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
