ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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