the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
