It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
