you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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