I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
