yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
