I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do herpes really smell.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
