we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
