i barfeds in our rink
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
