My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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