I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I CAN MOONWALK!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
