I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize