She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
