Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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