kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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