Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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