I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize