I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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