worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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