just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
