girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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