There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize