Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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