Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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