Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
