office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
