I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
