Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize