I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
