8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
