i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
