Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
