We won't sleep together?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
