I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
