it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
