you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize