The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
