im six kinds of drunk right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
