2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
