I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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