So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
