I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
