You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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