Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
