If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
