Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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