Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
