just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize