A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm like, not good at living.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
