"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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