That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize