no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
