so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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