just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
