I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
