summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
