Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
