Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
