Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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