Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
