let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
