two words: eviction party
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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