I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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