Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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