i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
