It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
