a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
