Me. At least after what I've been through.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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