So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
