We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
