don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
